What we do for Love

I was watching a movie documentary "Life on the Mesa" about this place in New Mexico where an assorted mix of people go to live, misfits, people who can't exactly live normal middle class lives for various reasons. Most of the people are old, some veterans, some mentally ill, and there is a young single white woman, a runaway, who gets pregnant. She looks so incredibly happy. I remember looking like that when I was pregnant. "She's looking desperately for someone to love" a old man says. Not in a judgmental way, like that's a bad thing - but it could be said like that's a bad thing. People do. I've heard it said about poor, black, single mothers. But what do I have in common with that drug addled runaway? I, too was desperate for a baby to love. We all are desperate for something to love. I was desperately longing - And unlike the girl in the move, I had a family-- parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, cousins, cats, a - plenty of beings to love who loved me. I even had a husband who told me that I was all that he needed to love, and he didn't need a baby. But I did. I brought some beings into the world, not for any ideological reasons, not because I think God ordained people to live in families, just because I wanted something to hold that was all my own. And that is the best reason to have children - just to have something to love. Another good reason to have a baby is to give it to someone else to love. And those are the only good reasons to have a baby ever. But there are accidents, and there are tragedies. To have a baby because there was an accident or a tragedy and you have no other options is not a good reason.